Filipina/Malaysian raised in Québec.
Born in '94. My heart belongs to this amazing girl who makes me smile like crazy. She's the hero of my heart & she's mine. We currently live in Bikini Bottom and I plan on marrying her at the "Opening Soon" Underwater Disneyland. I know she's my soulmate, my missing half & I have to make her mine forever <3
I can’t help but look at pictures of us. Where did it all go wrong? One moment we’re cuddling on cloud nine and the next we’re underneath it, drowning in tears of anger and sadness. I want it back. The bedtime smiles, the awkward kissing, the butterflies in my stomach, the Kodak moments. But how can you want something you don’t deserve?
I’m the problem. I’m the one to blame, the one who has to wake up before I lose my everything and live with regret until the day I die. I don’t deserve any of this because you’ve gone way over your head with still being with me. But I shouldn’t think that way, if I do I’ll just be doing everything I’ve done so far: nothing. I feel sorry for myself, thinking about how stupid I am, be lazy and sad and unmotivated to do anything because I’m a no good worthless piece of fucking shit. It’s a cycle I’ve been doing and it has to stop. If I don’t move my lazy ass, I’m never going to change. I need to change, I need to grown up, grown a brain and actually do shit. Motivating myself sounds stupid, writing about it even more but there’s a limit to everything and I should have done this a long time ago. I’m always too late, too stupid, too incapable of getting anything right. I’ve been swarmed with chances and yet I have taken them for granted by not getting off my lazy ass. I hope this time it’s not too late because right now I want this more than fucking ever.
I know I don’t deserve it, but I want it so bad that it’ll kill me. I’ve waited so long for us to happen, I’m not going to let this just slip out of my hands so easily.
